I have been pretty silent as of late as Karin’s dad was quite ill.  Peter had prostate cancer for a number of years, and it was expected that it would eventually enter his bones.  He had bone scans every 6 months in order to detect when this occurred, and was warned that once it did he should be prepared for severe pain.  Once the cancer was in his bones, the prognosis was for no more than a year left.

Despite his ill health and onsetting dementia, my father-in-law still made his annual trip to California and Arizona for a month at the beginning of this year.  Upon his return it was obvious that his health had worsened, and his next scheduled scan confirmed that the cancer had progressed into his bones.

Even with his pain and rapidly declining health, he still showed his strength through his determination to be at family events.  Many of us did not expect to see him at his granddaughter Angela’s wedding, as he could barely sit up for more than an hour each day during the preceding week; but he showed his resolve by attending both the church ceremony in the afternoon and then a large portion of the evening reception.  This took a lot out of him, however, and he did not leave home again.

My mother-in-law Gertrude was faced with the fact that she would not be able to keep him at home much longer, even with several visits a day from palliative care nurses, but Father’s Day was approaching and she hoped to have one last day with the family.  Again he showed his resolve and sat in his easy chair in the living room all afternoon as his children and grandchildren gathered, but again it took much out of him and he did not leave his bed again.  We did not even see him during a several hour visit the next day, during which we visited the hospices in Langely and Mission, met with one of the palliative nurses, and made our decision to move him to the Christine Morrison Hospice in Mission.

He was transferred the next day, and just in time.  The facility is lovely, and it allowed Gertrude to stay with her husband 24 hours a day while he received pain management and care from nurses around the clock.  The facility even took great care to make sure that Gertude was cared for also, with meals available to her at any time, shower facilities for her, and even professional massages to help with stress.  Within a couple of days, the nurses told her that she should make sure that the family all knew that they should come say one last goodbye.

Peter Nickel passed away at 5:07 pm on Sunday, June 22nd.  It was a grey, lousy day all morning and afternoon, but once his suffering stopped the clouds parted and the sun shined down.  We all gathered at the hospice to say our goodbyes, and then we spent the past week planning and holding the funeral.  We laid him to rest on Thursday.  While it was a sad time for the family, we all were relieved to know that his pain had now ended.

Instead of documenting the events that were occurring, I was busy offering my support to others in the family.  I will miss Peter and value the time I did have to get to know him, but of course my loss is nothing compared to his wife and children.  If you want to know more of the events that occurred, both Karin and Waltrude blogged during Peter’s struggle. I would only ask that you not fill their blogs with comments offering your condolenses as they have ended their tears and are moving onward.

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